David "Itchy" Crane

Created by Bradley Spinelli

Silicon Valley may be boom-booming in 1997, but it's not helping burned out "information consultant" DAVID "ITCHY" CRANE's business any -- who needs him, sober or not, when this new-fangled "information superhighway" is just a click away?

So he more or less jumps at the chance to do some work for a cut-rate private eye with dubious motives, who requires a little help tracking down Ashley Fenn, an artist who may -- or may not -- be completely off her rocker -- and seems to have developed an obsession with Itchy himself.

The Painted Gun (2017) is a neat little post-modern mash-up of Chandler and Hammett and other detrious the author found lying around, including some old film noirs, some puzzle mysteries, some James Ellroy, a spy flick or two, a bit of Lou Reed, and plenty of WTF? It's not long before Crane's messed up in mysterious oil paintings, a psychotic Guatemalan hit man, assorted thugs (some with badges), witty banter, riddles and a string of murders that increasingly point to him as the number one suspect. Or at least, that's the basic set-up of The Painted Gun. What saves it all is the author's writing -- the man's got wit and style up the wazoo.

Bradley Spinelli is the author of the novel Killing Williamsburg, and the writer/director of the film #AnnieHall, which the Village Voice called "fascinating." He currently lives in Brooklyn, but don't hold that against him.


  • "The Painted Gun is Raymond Chandler's fault." Mostly, anyway."

-- Bradley Spinelli


  • "The cool one had a voice like a lizard licking sandpaper."

  • "By 4:19 the cigarette was burning out in the brown glass ashtray, sending a lone last tendril of smoke in a sacfred mission to the ceiling."

-- The Painted Gun kicks off in fine style

  • "I keep meeting people who wind up dead."



The author's official web site.

Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.

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