Created by Rex Weiner
"So many assholes, so few bullets!"
-- Ford waxes philosphical
Intended as a star vehicle for obnoxious, foul-mouthed comic Andrew Dice Clay, the 1990 flick The Adventures of Ford Fairlane with Clay in the role of FORD FAIRLANE, turned out to be an even bigger flop than Clay himself. Heavily hyped and promoted, with soundtrack and comic book tie-ins, the flick sank with barely a trace, leaving just a small, oily stain. Undaunted, Clay keeps threatening to make a comeback.
I know, I know. The film was stupid. And crude. And so transparently, deliberately offensive and tasteless and vulgar and so intent on pandering to the lowest common denominator that, so help me, I thought it was kinda funny, in a trainwreck sorta way.
The lathered-on obnoxiousness of Clay's stage persona is a plus to his screen role. Sure, Ford Fairlane's a jerk, but at the time, he seemed like a breath of fresh if misguided air, so ridiculously over-the-top, so obviously a cartoon, that it's hard to believe anyone could take his clunky, transparent button-pushing seriously. Sorta like an amped-up cross between Archie Bunker and the Fonz, Clay played a self-styled private eye specializing in cases involving the music industry. A failed musician himself, he had a love/hate affair with his reputation as "the rock 'n' roll detective." As Ford put it, "Fucking rock stars! I mean, how am I going to pay my taxes with bathtub compact disc players and autographed drumsticks?"
He dressed like a fifties throwback and tooled around in a classic -- what else? -- Ford Fairlane. He was arrogant as hell, but the chicks -- Whoa! -- just couldn't get enough of him. Whoa!
His prize possession was a Fender Stratocaster once used by Jimi Hendrix, which he seemed to care about more than he did for most people. His long-suffering gal Friday was called Jazz. Of course, she's secretly in love with the boss. Natch. Whoa!
And Ford even got to strut his rock'n'roll chops, performing a semi-credible version of Clarence Carter's "I Aint Got You." A host of cameos by various slumming artists added to the fun. But of course it's definitely not for everyone.
Like a character says, "You know, Fairlane, sometimes you can be a real dick!"
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
* * * * *
Ford Fairlane was originally created as a monthly serial by journalist Rex Weiner and appeared in such weekly alternatives as the New York Rocker and the LA Weekly in the early eighties.
Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.
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