XXX: Dirty Eyes

Johnny Wadd
Created by Bob Chinn

He cased more cracks than than he cracked cases.

Appearing in a series of adult films, JOHNNY WADD wasn't your average private dick. His specialty was not quite getting to the bottom of a crime or digging up clues -- it was women. Played by the infamous John Holmes, he of the 14-inch appendage, Wadd's exploits began in 1970's The Danish Connection, and continued for a series of 11 movies. The last Wadd film starring Holmes was The Return of Johnny Wadd in 1987.

We're not talking great art here. The China Cat is viewed by Doug Pratt's Laserdisc Review as "an elaborate and occasionally effective takeoff on The Maltese Falcon," while Blonde Fire's plot, "concerning a double cross in a diamond sale, is executed with coherence but not urgency." The Jade Pussycat is allegedly the best of the bunch.

Still, as far as porn goes, like much of the stuff from the seventies "classic" era, there was at least an attempt to have a plot (even if it was lame), and be passed off as a "real' film.

The legend has it that John Holmes auditioned for porn maven Bob Chinn by whipping it out. Chinn (the Burt Reynolds character in Boogie Nights, a fictionalized account of Holmes' life) was impressed, to say the least, and is credited arguably the only male porn superstar. In his long career, he appeared in over 500 loops, films, and videos.

Unfortunately, Holmes private life was less than stellar. He was arrested several times for pimping and pandering (porn was legal back then, but it was illegal to pay or be paid to be in a porn film), and was finally given a choice: go to prison, or become an informant. As findadeath.com puts it, "Detective Johnny Wadd became a snitch for the porn industry."

Holmes made tons of money, but blew most of it on drugs, and became undependable. Other porn actors started refusing to work with him. He eventiually fell in with a bad crowd (yeah, I know -- he made porno, but these people were far worse). On June 29, 1981, and John was accused and tried for the murders of four people in his house in the Hollywood Hills, but was eventually acquitted. He was diagnosed HIV Positive in 1985, but made his last film, The Return of Johnny Wadd in 1987. He told the producer, Chinn, that he was dying of colon cancer.

Holmes died of AIDS in a Los Angeles-area veterans nursing home on March 13, 1988. He was 43.

But evidently, the legend of Johnny Wadd lives on. In 2001, New Era released Re-enter Johnny Wadd, a porn flick directed by Bob Chinn that introduced us to John Wolf, a private detective who, it's soon revealed, is actually Johnny Wadd, JuniorThere have since been several more films, all starring Joel Lawrence as the son of the legendary dick. Chin also created a couple of other porno P.I.s, Peter Magnum and Nick Grande, who both bear more than a passing resemblance to the Wadd character. Evidently, the names and faces may change, but the schtick remains the same...

And, even more amazingly, in 2009, Johnny sprung up as a comic book.

FILMS

Report, despite the snickering, more-or-less respectfully submitted by Rodd Upright.


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