XXX: Dirty Eyes

Hamilton "Trader" Hornee
Created by David F. Friedman

Yep, I've seen 'em all!

It's hard to believe Trader Horne (1970, Entertainment Ventures Inc), ever qualified as racy stuff. Maybe everyone was thirteen back in 1970 when this piece of softcore cinematic cheese was released on an unsuspecting public. Billed as "a bawdy sex and jungle romp" that turns into "a hilarious parody of the genre", what this really is is a lame excuse to have young women flash their tits.

This excuse in this one has HAMILTON HORNE, a sexy young private eye who acts like Jungle Jim when he's hired to track down Algona, the missing daughter of two zoologists killed in Africa, in order to settle the sizable family estate.

Joining Horne (the 'e' is silent -- yeah, right) on his quest are ther usual gang of hot-to-trot crazies, including a lesbian journalist, and two of Algona's greedy (but kinky) loving relatives. Hot on the trail, they soon hook up with the Meshpokas, natives who are lead by a mysterious White Goddess. Hornee soon puts two and two together, and surmises that Algona may be the one they are looking for. Well, d'uh!

That startlingly brilliant and intuitive piece of deduction is more than matched by the cutting edge comedy bits offered here: wacky cannibals, a witch-doctor with a large pot of boiling water and that good ol' stand-by: blacks eating watermelon. But unoriginality and questionable taste aren't all this classic has going for it -- it also has bad acting and a lame plot that features a lot of people walking around and some stock footage of African wildlife leftover, it looks like, from old Tarzan films. Oh, and not much more sex than your average MTV video.

UNDER OATH

FILM

Disdainfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith. And thanks of some sort to Duke for inflicting this on my consciousness.


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