Rocky Nelson
Created by Aubrey Solomon

Oh, the hilarity! ROCKY NELSON is an abrasive, pint-sized (but big-haired) former New York undercover cop, who cracks a major bust and sells the film rights to Hollywood. Bitten by the bug, he decides to shuck it all and head off to Hollywood to make it as an actor, in the 1985 pilot -- and its subsequent, appropriately short-lived TV series -- both called Half Nelson (Get it? Huh? Huh?).

Alas, the big breaks just aren't coming his way, so Rocky takes a gig working for the swanky Beverly Hills Patrol, a private security agency that caters to the sometimes-peculiar needs of the Hollywood high and mighty. Rocky figures this could help him come in contact with some Hollywood big shots who could give him the break he needs. However, Rocky's in-yer-face approach to almost everything (he's almost as annoying as the actor who plays him -- Joe Pesci) doesn't endear him to his boss (played by Fred Williamson), the police or the clients anymore than it did to producers and directors.

Ah well, at least he gets to live in Dean Martin's guest-house. (Rocky refers to Dino as "Mr. Martin").

Poor Joe. He don't get no respect. One of the few books that even bother to mention this show is Craig Nelson's Bad TV: The Very Best of the Very Worst.

TELEVISION

• HALF NELSON
  (1985, NBC)
  Pilot
  2 hours
  Premiere: March 24, 1985
  Written by Aubrey Solomon
  Starring Joe Pesci as ROCKY NELSON
  Also starring Fred Williamson, Victoria Jackson, Bubba Smith, Morgan Brittany, Rory Calhoun, George Kennedy, Terry Kiser, Bernie Kopell, Gary Lockwood, Nicolas Surovy, Mills Watson, Robert Webber and...
  Dean Martin as Himself
  .
• HALF NELSON
  (1985, NBC)
  7 60-minute episodes
  Written by Aubrey Solomon
  A 20th Century Fox Television/Glen A. Larson Production
  Starring Joe Pesci as ROCKY NELSON
  Also starring Fred Williamson, Victoria Jackson, Dick Butkus, Bubba Smith, Gary Grubbs and Dean Martin as himself.

Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith. Suggested by Alberta Bond.