George Broonzer

Created by Art Montague

"The P.I., nearly. Intrepid, loyal, linear as a twelve-inch grade school ruler."

- blurb from the author's web site.

How can a man go down those mean streets if he can't even find them?

In Art Montague's Donkey Serenade (2003), which bills itself as a "Crime Comedy," we're introduced to GEORGE BROOZNER, a middle-aged daydreamer. All he wants is to be Mike Hammer. He's already got the fedora, now if only he had the brains, the guts and the ability to focus.

I mean, gee, what's it take? He already hangs out in a bar, he's working on his straight-shooting and tough-talking, and he's almost finished his correspondence course in private detecting. You'd think the world would be beating a path to his door.

But somehow, things just don't seem to be working out for George. Maybe it's because Hammer had New York as his turf -- plenty of bad doings going on there. But poor George has to ply his trade in a dinky little burg in the midwest that's "so small even its organized crime is disorganized."

And let's face it: George isn't exactly the brightest Crayola in the box. He's got no contacts, no clues, no real ambition, not even much of an attention span -- he's easily distracted by beer and baseball and occasionally, Karen Elizabeth-Anne Gumley, his hot-to-trot welfare case worker, who really really wants George to succeed, or at least get him into the sack.

Fortunately for the reader -- if not for George, he soon finds himself up to his butt in bawdy ballplayers, gonzo gangsters, crooked cops, dangerous dames, and powerful politicos, most of whom want George's head on a platter.

NOVELS

Report respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.

RELATED LINKS

Looney Tunes & Other Reality-Challenged Eyes


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