Bertha Cool and Donald Lam

Created by A.A. Fair (Erle Stanley Gardner)

One of the all-time great mismatched team-ups in detective fiction and -- at the time -- a real blast of fresh air. Grade A Extra Large widow and penny pincher BERTHA COOL, the sixtyish head of the B. Cool Confidential Investigations, based in Los Angeles, isn't overly concerned with ethics. "I'll handle any disbarred lawyer," she says, and that she will.

Truth be told, I've always had a soft spot for Mrs. Cool. Greedy, corrupt, dishonest, about as pleasant as a cold sore and weighing slightly less than a Buick, she ran her own detective agency while most female sleuths of the time were puttering around in the rose garden, making tea for the vicar or waiting to be rescued. Politically correct? Who the hell cares?

Fortunately, she finds her match in DONALD LAM, a diminutive lawyer who shows a delightful aptitude for bending, twisting, tweaking and otherwise subverting the law, while Bertha tends to just out and out break it. As she puts it, Donald is "a little runt, but he's brainy." Meanwhile, Gardner himself called him "that cocky little bastard."

Together they are simply one of the best teams of P.I.s ever, appearing in one of the more entertaining series of mysteries around, full of colourful characters, brain-spinning plots and some of Gardner's best writing. And if a successful TV series had been developed from it, Cool and Lam may have received the respect they deserved, instead of being a footnote in Gardner's career.

In fact, there were a few attempts to bring the franchise to a larger audience.

The first stab was a one-off radio show that showed up as an 1946 episode of The United States Steel Hour of Mystery, adapted from the 1940 novel Turn on the Heat and starring none other than Ol' Blue Eyes himself as Donald, and... uh, I have no idea who played Bertha.

Next up was a television episode on another anthology show, Climax! This one adapted the first novel, The Bigger They Come, and starred Jane Darwell and Art Carney. Unfortunately, since so much of Climax! was performed live, this episode is considered lost. But Art Carney as Donald Lam? That would have been cool to see!

And finally, a TV pilot was aired in 1958 by CBS, starring former jockey Billy Pearson (who?) and Benay Venuta (who?) as Lam and Cool, although it was directed by noir legend Jacques Tourneur, and the executive producer was Gail Patrick Jackson, who was also the executive producer of the already popular Perry Mason series. It never developed into a series, although it comes around on YouTube now and then, complete with an introduction by Erle Stanley himself.

Erle Stanley Gardner was, of course, the creator of Perry Mason and one of the most popular American authors of all time, with over 100 million books sold.

UNDER OATH

  • "Among his many other virtues, Erle Stanley Gardner is surely the finest constructor of hyper-intricate puzzles in evidence..."

-- Anthony Boucher, The New York Times Book Review

  • "One of the best in the series...You can only love a book where everyone gets exactly what they deserve in triplicate."

-- Karen Ellington, The Mystery Read on Top of the Heap 

CLASSIC COOLISMS

  • "Well, can me for a sardine!"
  • "Well, peel me for a grape!"
  • "Fry me for an oyster!"
  • "You can't have understanding without empathy, and you can't have empathy without losing money."

-- Bertha explain why she's so hard-boiled

THE EVIDENCE

  • "LA. is just a village with gland trouble."

-- Donald Lam (Billy Pearson) in the 1958 television pilot

NOVELS

  • The Bigger They Come (1939)...Buy this book
  • Turn on the Heat (1940.. Buy this book.. Kindle it!
  • Gold Comes in Bricks (1940)
  • Spill the Jackpot (1941)
  • Double or Quits (1941)
  • Owls Don't Blink (1942)
  • Bats Fly at Dusk (1942) .. Buy this book
  • Cats Prowl at Night (1943)
  • Give 'em the Ax (1944)
  • Crows Can't Count (1946)
  • Fools Die on Friday (1947)
  • Bedrooms Have Windows (1949)
  • Top of the Heap (1952)...Buy this book
  • Some Women Won't Wait (1953)
  • Beware the Curves (1956)
  • You Can Die Laughing (1957)
  • Some Slips Don't Show (1957)
  • The Count of Nine (1958)
  • Pass the Gravy (1959)
  • Kept Women Can't Quit (1960)
  • Bachelors Get Lonely (1961)
  • Shills Can't Cash Chips (1961)
  • Try Anything Once (1962)
  • Fish or Cut Bait (1963)
  • Up for Grabs (1964)
  • Cut Thin to Win (1965)
  • Widows Wear Weeds (1966)
  • Traps Need Fresh Bait (1967)
  • All Grass Isn't Green (1970)
  • The Knife Slipped (2016). Buy this book. Kindle it!

Originally intended to be the second book in the series, the publisher rejected it for (among other things) "Bertha Cool's tendency to talk tough, swear, smoke cigarettes, and try to gyp people." It actually suggests a different way the series might have gone, softening Bertha's abrasiveness (but just a bit) and playing up Donald's naiveté.

RADIO

  • THE UNITED STATES STEEL HOUR OF MYSTERY
    (June 9-September 1, 1946, ABC)

A mystery-themed summer replacement for the popular United States Steel Hour, which ran during the summer of 1946. The United States Steel Hour itself was an anthology series which brought hour long dramas to radio from 1945-53 (and television from 1953 to 1963) both sponsored by the United States Steel Corporation (U. S. Steel).

  • "Turn on the Heat" (June 23, 1946, ABC)
    Based on the novel by A.A. Fair
    Adapted by Welbourne Kelly
    Starring Frank Sinatra as DONALD LAM

TELEVISION

An American television anthology series that aired on CBS from 1954 to 1958. The series was hosted by William Lundigan and later co-hosted by Mary Costa

  • "The Bigger They Come" (January 6, 1955)
    Based on the novel by A.A. Fair
    Starring Jane Darwell as BERTHA COOL
    and Art Carney as DONALD LAM
    Also starring Don Megowan

  • COOL AND LAM...Watch it now on YouTube
    (1958, CBS)
    Unsold pilot
    30 minute episode
    Black and white
    Based on characters created by A.A. Fair
    Executive producer: Gail Patrick Jackson
    Teleplay by Edmund L. Hartmann
    Directed by Jacques Tourneur
    Starring Billy Pearson as DONALD LAM
    and Benay Venuta as BERTHA COOL
    Also starring Maurice Manson, Margaret Field, Judith Bess Jones, Sheila Bromley, Don Megowan, Movita, Allison Hayes, John Mitchum, Tristram Coffin, Alex Sharp

Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.


| Home | Detectives A-L M-Z | Film | Radio | Television | Web Comics | Comics | FAQs | Search |
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| This Just In... | Word on the Street | Non-Fiction | Fiction | Staff | The P.I. Poll |

Remember, your comments, suggestions, corrections and contributions are always welcome.
At the tone, leave your name and number and I'll get back to you...

Copyright 1998-2017, thrillingdetective.com. All rights reserved.
Web site by The Thrilling Detective Web Guy


Bertha Cool and Donald Lam

Created by A.A. Fair (Erle Stanley Gardner)

One of the all-time great mismatched team-ups in detective fiction and -- at the time -- a real blast of fresh air. Grade A Extra Large widow and penny pincher BERTHA COOL, the sixtyish head of the B. Cool Confidential Investigations, based in Los Angeles, isn't overly concerned with ethics. "I'll handle any disbarred lawyer," she says, and that she will.

Truth be told, I've always had a soft spot for Mrs. Cool. Greedy, corrupt, dishonest, about as pleasant as a cold sore and weighing slightly less than a Buick, she ran her own detective agency while most female sleuths of the time were puttering around in the rose garden, making tea for the vicar or waiting to be rescued. Politically correct? Who the hell cares?

Fortunately, she finds her match in DONALD LAM, a diminutive lawyer who shows a delightful aptitude for bending, twisting, tweaking and otherwise subverting the law, while Bertha tends to just out and out break it. As she puts it, Donald is "a little runt, but he's brainy." Meanwhile, Gardner himself called him "that cocky little bastard."

Together they are simply one of the best teams of P.I.s ever, appearing in one of the more entertaining series of mysteries around, full of colourful characters, brain-spinning plots and some of Gardner's best writing. And if a successful TV series had been developed from it, Cool and Lam may have received the respect they deserved, instead of being a footnote in Gardner's career.

In fact, there were a few attempts to bring the franchise to a larger audience.

The first stab was a one-off radio show that showed up as an 1946 episode of The United States Steel Hour of Mystery, adapted from the 1940 novel Turn on the Heat and starring none other than Ol' Blue Eyes himself as Donald, and... uh, I have no idea who played Bertha.

Next up was a television episode on another anthology show, Climax! This one adapted the first novel, The Bigger They Come, and starred Jane Darwell and Art Carney. Unfortunately, since so much of Climax! was performed live, this episode is considered lost. But Art Carney as Donald Lam? That would have been cool to see!

And finally, a TV pilot was aired in 1958 by CBS, starring former jockey Billy Pearson (who?) and Benay Venuta (who?) as Lam and Cool, although it was directed by noir legend Jacques Tourneur, and the executive producer was Gail Patrick Jackson, who was also the executive producer of the already popular Perry Mason series. It never developed into a series, although it comes around on YouTube now and then, complete with an introduction by Erle Stanley himself.

Erle Stanley Gardner was, of course, the creator of Perry Mason and one of the most popular American authors of all time, with over 100 million books sold.

UNDER OATH

  • "Among his many other virtues, Erle Stanley Gardner is surely the finest constructor of hyper-intricate puzzles in evidence..."

-- Anthony Boucher, The New York Times Book Review

  • "One of the best in the series...You can only love a book where everyone gets exactly what they deserve in triplicate."

-- Karen Ellington, The Mystery Read on Top of the Heap 

CLASSIC COOLISMS

  • "Well, can me for a sardine!"
  • "Well, peel me for a grape!"
  • "Fry me for an oyster!"
  • "You can't have understanding without empathy, and you can't have empathy without losing money."

-- Bertha explain why she's so hard-boiled

THE EVIDENCE

  • "LA. is just a village with gland trouble."

-- Donald Lam (Billy Pearson) in the 1958 television pilot

NOVELS

  • The Bigger They Come (1939)...Buy this book
  • Turn on the Heat (1940.. Buy this book.. Kindle it!
  • Gold Comes in Bricks (1940)
  • Spill the Jackpot (1941)
  • Double or Quits (1941)
  • Owls Don't Blink (1942)
  • Bats Fly at Dusk (1942) .. Buy this book
  • Cats Prowl at Night (1943)
  • Give 'em the Ax (1944)
  • Crows Can't Count (1946)
  • Fools Die on Friday (1947)
  • Bedrooms Have Windows (1949)
  • Top of the Heap (1952)...Buy this book
  • Some Women Won't Wait (1953)
  • Beware the Curves (1956)
  • You Can Die Laughing (1957)
  • Some Slips Don't Show (1957)
  • The Count of Nine (1958)
  • Pass the Gravy (1959)
  • Kept Women Can't Quit (1960)
  • Bachelors Get Lonely (1961)
  • Shills Can't Cash Chips (1961)
  • Try Anything Once (1962)
  • Fish or Cut Bait (1963)
  • Up for Grabs (1964)
  • Cut Thin to Win (1965)
  • Widows Wear Weeds (1966)
  • Traps Need Fresh Bait (1967)
  • All Grass Isn't Green (1970)
  • The Knife Slipped (2016). Buy this book. Kindle it!

Originally intended to be the second book in the series, the publisher rejected it for (among other things) "Bertha Cool's tendency to talk tough, swear, smoke cigarettes, and try to gyp people." It actually suggests a different way the series might have gone, softening Bertha's abrasiveness (but just a bit) and playing up Donald's naiveté.

RADIO

  • THE UNITED STATES STEEL HOUR OF MYSTERY
    (June 9-September 1, 1946, ABC)

A mystery-themed summer replacement for the popular United States Steel Hour, which ran during the summer of 1946. The United States Steel Hour itself was an anthology series which brought hour long dramas to radio from 1945-53 (and television from 1953 to 1963) both sponsored by the United States Steel Corporation (U. S. Steel).

  • "Turn on the Heat" (June 23, 1946, ABC)
    Based on the novel by A.A. Fair
    Adapted by Welbourne Kelly
    Starring Frank Sinatra as DONALD LAM

TELEVISION

An American television anthology series that aired on CBS from 1954 to 1958. The series was hosted by William Lundigan and later co-hosted by Mary Costa

  • "The Bigger They Come" (January 6, 1955)
    Based on the novel by A.A. Fair
    Starring Jane Darwell as BERTHA COOL
    and Art Carney as DONALD LAM
    Also starring Don Megowan

  • COOL AND LAM...Watch it now on YouTube
    (1958, CBS)
    Unsold pilot
    30 minute episode
    Black and white
    Based on characters created by A.A. Fair
    Executive producer: Gail Patrick Jackson
    Teleplay by Edmund L. Hartmann
    Directed by Jacques Tourneur
    Starring Billy Pearson as DONALD LAM
    and Benay Venuta as BERTHA COOL
    Also starring Maurice Manson, Margaret Field, Judith Bess Jones, Sheila Bromley, Don Megowan, Movita, Allison Hayes, John Mitchum, Tristram Coffin, Alex Sharp

Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.


| Home | Detectives A-L M-Z | Film | Radio | Television | Web Comics | Comics | FAQs | Search |
| Trivia | Authors | Hall of Fame | Mystery Links | Bibliography | Glossary | Advertising |
| This Just In... | Word on the Street | Non-Fiction | Fiction | Staff | The P.I. Poll |

Remember, your comments, suggestions, corrections and contributions are always welcome.
At the tone, leave your name and number and I'll get back to you...

Copyright 1998-2017, thrillingdetective.com. All rights reserved.
Web site by The Thrilling Detective Web Guy